What does Pur Pale mean and symbolize?
Pur Pale, "pur" meaning pure and "pale" meaning white (pure white). This should not be confused with identifying a skin color or race, instead this identifies with the exploration of higher consciousness in a spiritual and philosophical form. My entire spiritual philosophy revolves around a concept I call "NOTHING" which means that I believe to focus on looking at the world, myself and everything in it as "Nothing" this doesn't mean that I am emotionless. It is a way for me to become fearless within my own life by understanding that I am just a small entity within this giant universe. Of course we contribute to our universe in a small way but if we as humans were gone would that truly have a huge impact on the universe we live in? We haven't always been here! I feel comfort in having this realization, it seems to give me a realistic sense of what we really are, I believe it helps me to strip out ego to become more as "One" with our universe.
Pur Pale meaning Nothing
Nothing meaning Egoless
Egoless resulting in a higher spiritual consciousness
What is "The Only Way OUT is IN"?
I stand behind a self realization which came to me during a period in life where I was in a deep internal war and struggle with my own mental health. This slogan helped me to overcome every situation in which I had encountered while overcoming my mental health challenges. Without standing so strongly behind this I would not be the same man that I am today, nor would Pur Pale be what it is today. This realization came to me by the words "The Only Way OUT is IN" which became the slogan for Pur Pale, what this means is "the only way to get out of a bad situation is to dive head first into it and battle through it fearlessly, solely focusing on the beginning and not on the entire journey ahead of you".
The Birth of Pur Pale
Pur Pale never started as a solo project it was originally a four piece group. Together we created enough songs to perform live and record our first single called "Call Upon Us", which to this day is lost in the stratosphere somewhere. Back then the sound of Pur Pale was much different than it is today it took a huge influence from 80's synth pop and post punk bands such as David Sylvian, John Foxx, Joy Division, bauhaus, Ultravox, Kraftwerk, Depeche Mode and more.
Original Pur Pale Members:
Ryan Tweak Clark - Lead Vocals
Jaden - Korg Triton and analog Korg Poly 6 Synthesizers
Lindsey Michie - Guitar
Caleb Freisen - Drums
One of the most memorable moments for me was playing at Yale Secondary School in Abbotsford where we played a show with Left Spine Down and Ms.Annethropy. After that show I went on to supporting and helping Left Spine Down throughout their music career as much as possible doing music videos, live backing videos, helping them pack gear around to shows, setting up projectors and more. I always felt like a little brother towards Left Spine Down. We both emerged around the same time, we were both apart of the same scene and both shared the same interests and influences, so supporting each other only made sense. Unfortunately that relationship resulted as a one sided one where I put in years of dedication and support to receive nothing in return, our relationship and friendship lasted 13 years and finally in 2013 we went our separate ways because of it.
As a four piece group Pur Pale lasted a couple years before calling it quits as a group, I feel today that I was not ready for such a commitment at that time. I was uncontrollable within my own mental health and was going through to many hardships in my life to be able to keep that line up and project alive. A few years later I reformed Pur Pale again but this time as a solo project, not until today (the death of Pur Pale) did I really see what it actually meant and did in my life.
How Nothing Changed My Life!
Pur Pale never played a ton of shows, never went on a tour, never reached a record label status, it was a small independent and underground project that made a huge influence and buzz around the Greater Vancouver area from 1998 to 2013. It was a very different project then most I now realize, during the course of its life I wanted to be on a record label, I wanted to release albums, I wanted to tour and do all the things a normal band could, but I never could take it that far on my own. I now today realize why the universe never brought it to those depths, it was never meant to be that, it was a personal tool to help me to overcome my own life struggles and challenges to be able to find maturity, strength and adulthood while exposing my journey in an open and public fashion to also connect and influence within the world around me.
Through art I was capable of helping to influence others in the world who were facing similar situations as myself with depression, suicide and mental health related issues. I had people from all over the world personally message me telling me about their life and internal struggles they were facing, looking for guidance, support and answers in which I helped them to find. I did this by spending time to sit and listen and interact with my fans and treat them as friends instead of followers. I spent time with people in suicidal moments, people having manic and traumatic episodes and people that just needed to feel not alone with what they were facing. Because of this interaction and connections I was having throughout the course of creating "As The World Was Falling Apart" Pur Pale was starting to have a purpose outside of myself and was finding it's own place in the world.
It wasn't until Pur Pale came to an end where I could see all of this, Pur Pale was it's own life force, it had it's own purpose in this world and had it's own journey, the same as any other living organism would have. Every song I wrote had a specific purpose to why it was being written, every song gave me the opportunity to expel any negative thoughts, emotions or struggles I was facing in that moment. It helped to coach and counsel me thru everything I was facing to be able to reach the next part of the journey of self recovery and happiness. This project couldn't of made sense to me during the course of it's life cause it was directly trying to influence a change in my life and the world around me and now I realize and see it for what it was.
R.I.P. Pur Pale!
After understanding what Pur Pale was it begins to makes sense why I would have to put an end to it after I had reached my personal goals of overcoming depression, suicide, manic episodes, etc. The person that I am today is much different then who I was when it started, I have learned how to control my emotions, stop manic episodes, anxiety attacks, depression, suicidal episodes almost completely.
This was achieved by being able to take myself out of each manic or traumatic episode I was facing and accept them for what they were and be able to understand what triggered those events to happen, while not allowing myself or others to judge or beat me up about having those episodes. I spent 24hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year in constant alert and watch of how I react to people and things around me in the world. This helped me to be able to control and prepredict when a moment was about to happen and try and stop it. It took years of watching myself, getting better at controlling my moments and teaching people in my life how to help me in those times of need how not to trigger me. Over time each episode took less and less time to control until one day it just ceased to exist in my life anymore.
The Slogan "The Only Way Out Is In" was my constant strength through this entire process and kept me strong and focused. Each time I released a song it gave me more strength and unfolded a new understanding on my path to recovery. Helping others in need around me enabled me to realize things about myself that I needed to change. It gave me an opportunity to connect with others like myself and not feel alone, it did the same things for me that I think it did for my fans (friends). By using Pur Pale as my main focusing tool for self recovery it gave me a purpose, it was my coach and my counselor.
Through art and community I was able to achieve success with obtaining self control over my own mental health. I would like to leave this project and pay my respects to Pur Pale by once again trying to influencing people on the way out just as much as I did throughout the course of it's life by exposing my journey thru "NOTHING".
THANK YOU'S!
I would like to thank all of my supporters, fans, friends and other like minded artists I have met on my path for always believing in me, my art and my journey.
Thank you to everyone at W.A.T.T. Studios for helping me to build Pharmacy Studios and supporting me as much as you have.
To my family who never gives up on me and allows me to be who I am.
To all my past relationships that have failed I thank you for giving me those experiences and opportunities to learn and grow from them to better understand myself and find answers to my own problems for more positive future relations.
There are so many to thank for all of this so I will end by saying thank you to the universe for allowing this to happen the way it did. I shall always stay true to the path you have shown and guided me towards and shall look up to you as my guardian and friend until I ceased to exist in this realm any longer.
The Only Way OUT is In!
"Everything is an influence around us it's what we actually take in and make ours that lets us create what we tend to create."
"Art is not only a way of expression but it's the evolution of structure and detail."
Final Thoughts by Ryan "Tweak" Clark